Breaking Through The Lockdown — Part 2: Embracing The Reality
Alone within the four walls of her apartment, she was going through a labyrinth of emotions: fear, hope, and a longing for the familiar. Each day brought a wave of emotions she had never encountered before, yet she found peace in the rhythm of her routine. Embracing this new normal and her solitude, she got busy into learning via some online courses, her mind expanding with newfound knowledge.
But it was in the humble confines of her windowsill garden that she truly found her sanctuary. Four pots became her canvas, something to wake up to every morning. From the aromatic charm of coriander and mint to the promise of future growth in the form of saplings of gulmohar, lemon, and watermelon — her windowsill bloomed with vitality.
And in between this haven, an unexpected bond blossomed: a crow, bold and most unexpected, became a daily visitor, sharing some happy moments of communion over few morsels of bread. This was the closest she was to mother nature since she had left her home for this big city. This was her routine now- work and finding solace in the voice of family and friends over phone.
Then, a day arrived when she knew she had to leave her safe fortress. Duty called, and she gathered all her courage to step out of her safe haven. Stepping into a world struck by the reckless virus, she felt a mix of bravery and fear. Despite her apprehension, she believed she could face it. Little did she know, this marked the beginning of a new chapter, one filled with unforeseen challenges. As night fell, her hands started shaking, her feet went numb and her breath- she couldn’t even breathe. She knew it wasn’t COVID that gripped her, but she what was it? She never had faced something like this before. It was indeed the onset of her first panic attack. In that moment of vulnerability, her façade of strength crumbled, leaving her overwhelmed with emotion. All the times she thought “Oh so strong”, today she felt weak. She couldn’t understand what was happening to her. She couldn’t hold back her tears and they started flowing endlessly. It was a torrent of emotion unleashed without restraint. “So this virus has won finally?”, she thought. It had broken the most important wall of her fortress, her will.
She had to gather herself alone in her struggle. Unwilling to burden her family with worry, she faced her fears alone, preparing for the daunting day ahead. She got ready in all the protective gear she could find and hesitantly placed her foot outside her apartment. The first step felt like an impossible hurdle and with it each passing day it did not become easy. She was navigating her duties amidst the chaos that the world was in during those days, alone. Uncertain of when the virus might strike, she held onto faith and hope, a belief that this too shall pass. However, behind her brave façade, an internal struggle raged silently. Unaware of the toll it took, the façade she wore gradually eroded her inner strength, a realization that would come once it is too late.
